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Saturday, 11 June 2011


Most of you know Rihanna, and most of you will know the song S&M. You may even listen to Nova 96.9 radio for the drive show with Fitzy and Wippa.

If you do, you will know the 'na na na na COME ON!' game. The rules are - you call a business and ask for something ridiculous. After the second negative response, the only thing you can say is 'na na na na come on' until the person hangs up on you.

Well, you've gotta love school holidays - bored kids, access to phones, and the store's phone number broadcasted all over the TV and radio.

*Phone rings*

Me: Thanks for calling, this is Sarah, how can I help you?
Girl: Hi, can I order delivery?
Me: Sure, can I start with your phone number?
Girl: *Gives number*
Me: Ok, so you're in our system as *address* - and what can I get for you?
Girl: Do you have any pizzas for a dog?
Me: Uh... wha?
Girl: Like, can you put dog biscuits on a pizza?
Me: I can give you a simply cheese and you can put dog biscuits on it, but I don't recommend feeding a dog pizza.
Girl: Why not?
Me: Well, it's against health laws, we don't have any dog biscuits on the premises, and your dog can get ill from eating too much cheese. What about a meatlovers without the BBQ sauce? You could give your dog a slice of that.
Girl: Na na na na come on!
*Kids snickering in background*
Me: *Silence*
Girl: Na na na na come on!
Me: *Silence*
Me: I listen to Nova too. So, na na na na get stuffed, and don't call here again.
Girl: *Hangs up*

Monday, 6 June 2011

A serious note.

On a serious note, it's not all funny and crazy customers.

Up to 15% of employees in Food Service suffer from depression at any one time. This is second only to nurses and childcare workers.

Next time you see your fast-food delivery person, waiter, waitress, etc, give them a smile and tell them they're doing a great job. It really does make a difference.

"You're the best driver I've ever had"
"You're a legend"
"Wow that was QUICK!"

These are things we all love to hear.

However, if you have a complaint, please let us know - we want to make the experience better for you, and we do take all complaints seriously.

If you ever do feel that things are getting you down or you just don't feel right, Lifeline and Kids' Help Line are 24-hour confidential help services that are there to support you.

Lifeline: 13 11 14
Kids' Help Line: 1800 55 1800

Sunday, 5 June 2011

Congratulations! It's a girl!

Just a quick one before I forget:

I was delivering a pizza to a house late one night. I knocked on the door, per the norm, and waited for someone to answer the door or call out 'who is it?' as some people do. Instead, I hear a thunder of little footsteps, and someone crash into the other side of the door. The door handle turns back and forth before the little guy realises it's locked. So, he bangs on the other side of the door and calls out 'who is it?'

I respond with my standard greeting of 'I have pizza for you!'

The little guy goes silent for a few moments and then yells 'DAD! THE PIZZA BOY SOUNDS LIKE A GIRL!'

I swear I almost died laughing. I called out to him 'I am a girl!'

The little guy  runs off down the hallway yelling 'DAD! THE PIZZA BOY SAYS HE'S A GIRL!'

By this point I was laughing so hard I had to put the pizzas down as I was worried I'd drop them!

Finally the father comes to the door, opens it, looks me up and down, and says 'Oh my goodness! I am SO SORRY about him!'

The little guy looks at me for a second then takes off up the hall screeching. I laughed so hard tears were rolling down my face, and I cleared a $3 tip for it.

I did end up delivering to him a second time, and the little guy went through the same routine, except this time yelled 'Dad! The pizza boy that is a girl is here!' and I started laughing all over again. They're some of my favourite customers now.

I know you are, but what am I?

Pizza delivery brings a whole new level to the childhood game "I know you are, but what am I?" although in our case, I call it "I know you know you live there but how am I supposed to know you live there?"

For example, in Australia (I'm not sure about other countries) and especially in my delivery area there are a lot of apartment buildings. Addresses run as apartment number first and building number second. For example, 19/57-59 means until 19 in the building that spans blocks 57 and 59 of the particular street. Not hard, right?

Well, you have your normal reversals. So, 2/16 becomes 16/2 and you end up bothering some poor old lady at 2am. You've got your wrong apartments- 14/2 becomes 15/2 and you spend 10 minutes banging on the wrong door before the customer comes out to find what all the noise is. You've got people that live at 2A that tell you 2 (see above result) and then there's the people that live at 2 hill road but tell you 2 hall road and you end up in the wrong suburb. Sometimes they're not even home when you arrive! They order on the way home but get stuck in traffic. Or they are home but asleep in the bathtub.

Better yet are the addresses that are incorrect with an incorrect phone number also. This means not only do you not know where they live but you can't even call them to confirm it. Fortunately if it's a regular you can usually figure out the correct address and deliver it anyway, but sometimes it's just not possible.

Worse still are the games of "I know you know you live there, but how am I supposed to know you live there?" that are played late at night on a dark street full of houses and NOT ONE SINGLE ONE HAS A HOUSE NUMBER! Please, make sure that your house has a clearly visible number somewhere on the letterbox or fence of possible. This means don't put white numbers on a white mail box, or bronze numbers on a brown fence. It just makes it that much harder to find you and get your pizzas to you. We know you're hungry and we're doing our best.

What makes it all worthwhile? Seeing the happy little smiling faces and hearing the little voices yell "MUMMY! PIZZA'S HERE!!!" and knowing it's a job well done.