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Monday, 30 May 2011

Rain. It's a zombie's favourite weather.

It may be a zombie's favourite weather, but delivery drivers hate it. Rain. Ugh.

Imagine having a shower fully clothed - that's how I felt during tonight's shift. Freezing, pouring rain running in rivulets down my clothing - both outside and inside. Dripping off my hat, my shoes squelching. I've done this before - I know the company delivery truck has great straight-line speed in the rain, the braking is good, but the cornering is awful. I know how it feels to run around in the rain all night. I actually don't mind the rain providing I have a warm waterproof jacket of some sort. What I hate is that every bogan hillbilly idiot and their goat decide to either order a pizza when it rains OR get in the car and go for a drive at 20km/hr under the speed limit.

For example, tonight I dealt with rain traffic. It's like normal traffic crossed with car hillbillies. Think MANY cars driving 20km/hr under the speed limit. Throw in a few learner drivers for good luck. Now, take three hot pizzas and a cranky customer. Make sure the traffic stops close enough that you can see the house you're delivering to, but far enough away that it's impossible to park the car and run.

Then, add in a flooded street that collapsed in the middle, taking a taxi with it. A taxi that now has water up to the windows and is still sinking while the poor taxi driver and his passenger look on. I hate to think of the insurance claim.

Now, have three customers pay for their $50+ orders in $1 coins. Then, have a customer order $20 worth of food and try to pay with a $100 note, without asking for extra change. Ensure said customer yells at you extensively. Include cussing that would make a sailor blush. Offer them the $1 coins and cue more swearing and a pizza thrown at you. Run like hell.

Add on rain brain. When it rains, people simply stop thinking. Tonight we had a customer who ordered a pizza, then disappeared. Our driver rang the doorbell repeatedly, knocked on all the windows and called the phone number provided. No response. He returned to the store. 20 minutes later we get a call asking where the pizza was. Apparently the customer ordered a pizza, took prescription medication and then took a bath - and fell asleep, in the bath. Who orders a pizza and is told half an hour for delivery, so they hop in the BATH? And fall asleep? I hate rain brain!

Anyway, after all of that, I only cleared $5.45 in tips after 7 hours of work. I guarantee you, I'm not doing this job for the money. I'm doing it because I love my job, and my customers.

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